We are all familiar with this spot in life. The point where we are headed down a path only to discover it is closed to us and we must find another direction. The way we envisioned is suddenly obstructed, and we are left scratching our heads, trying to process what happened and figure out which way to go now. This abrupt detour off the path we planned can come in numerous forms:

• The illness that left you deaf, blind, or unable to otherwise function as did previously.
• The desperately wanted child that was never born.
• Finding the love of your life only to have the relationship end unexpectedly.
• The accident that took a dear loved one suddenly from the earth.

This abrupt change leaves you trying to reconcile the life that almost was with the life you actually have. The envisioned holiday celebrations that will never happen. The conversations you will never have. The dreams that will never come true. The future that will never come to life. The pull between the envisioned and reality plays tricks on the heart and mind. It’s as if we can almost reach through time and space to catch the thread we lost and weave it back into the tapestry of our lives. As if we can almost stop the accident, undo the series of events, or change the other person’s mind.

The life that almost was leaves you in a liminal space, searching for the magic door that will lead you to where you yearn to be but is forever locked and irrecoverable to you. In this space, we feel lost and stumbling with confusion and grief. We may be consumed with emptiness and hopelessness. Our compass had lost its magnetic north.

We can revolt at these times and rage against what is lost. We can numb ourselves with sex, drugs, alcohol, or food. We can get angry and lash out or turn our anger inward and sink into depression. Or, we can embrace this space, listen to what it teaches us, let go of the life that almost was and embrace the life that is in store for us. No matter the response, the path immediately after the road closure is challenging. The way forward is unclear and sometimes untrodden by others, but we have great power, learning, and freedom if we embrace this time and allow it to lead us to what is next. If we allow it to lead us into the life waiting for us.

I recently found myself in a liminal space. This space has allowed me to utilize my curiosity, introspection, and research skills. I will share what I have learned here in the coming weeks. I hope that what I write here will help others navigate their own liminal spaces and reconcile that life that almost was.

We must let go of the life we have planned so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. – Joseph Campbell

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This post is part one of a series on liminal Spaces. Use the links below to access parts 2 and 3 of this series.

Part 2: The Space Between

Part 3: A Life That Almost Was