It was almost my word for 2022. I created artwork for it. I researched its meaning and reflected on where it might lead me. Then, while on a personal retreat at The Christine Center, I realized my word for 2022 was pilgrimage, not align.
I kept the artwork I created for align (I like it and worked hard on it) and focused on pilgrimage.
While I thought I was done with align, align wasn’t done with me. It just needed a year. So it waited patiently for me as I pilgrimaged through 2022. The artwork I created sat on my office bookcase, waiting to take center stage.
In December, I felt the pull to make some changes in my life. I had been working with my life coach on how I interacted with people who were placed in leadership positions but did not display leadership behavior. I habitually treat “leaders who don’t lead” as morons and dismiss them. I have no time for people I see as incompetent and ineffective in their position. How I behaved towards these people didn’t align with who I was. It didn’t feel right to me, but I also felt I needed to let them know what I thought of them and my perception of them. It wasn’t my role to do that and didn’t align with my values. It’s easy to be petty. It’s hard to live with integrity. I needed space and time to sort things out and align things.
Pilgrimage brought me to write a prayer to use a north star in life. I pasted copies of it in my personal and bullet journal and hung a copy on the wall in my house. It is designed to bring me back to what I believe and how I want to live my life. I titled this prayer A Pilgrim’s Creed.
A Pilgrim’s Creed
Today is a pilgrimage.
I will practice the Pilgrim’s Spirit.
I will take care of my gear and my body.
I will live my values.
I will choose love with every step, offer grace, compassion, and kindness to myself and those I meet, listen deeply to myself and the world around me, practice beginner’s mind, embrace the journey, and be open to what it has to teach me.
I will look for the lesson when things get hard, respond to what comes my way, and practice self-care to support myself through challenges.
I will trust myself and this pilgrimage I choose to embark upon.
I found myself catching at “I will live my values” when I was pushing hardest against the “leaders who don’t lead.” I couldn’t change their behavior and it wasn’t my role to chastise them. All I can do is control my behavior. It’s so simple and yet so hard. Let’s face it, even as adults, we sometimes want to throw a good temper tantrum. I can relate to every toddler who has a meltdown in Target. Sometimes life doesn’t go as we wish.
I have been working on aligning for a while already. The tagline for this blog is “Where head meets heart.” This is a statement of alignment. I started this blog because I wanted to take what I do with my head and connect it to my heart values.
I am great with my head. I should have been on a debate team, but my high school didn’t have one. I considered becoming a lawyer, but I love science too much and I didn’t want to go through law school. I can look at a situation and pinpoint what needs to be done. I know how to research and gather information. I can also steamroll over someone with facts and beat them into submission. These are powerful tools, but I could use some work on their deployment. No one wants to be steamrolled or beat into submission. It’s not leadership best practices and it’s disrespectful. I am learning a new way to use my skills in a manner that aligns with my values. I am aligning the head with the heart.
Part of this aligning process isn’t just reviewing what I put into the world. It’s also examining what I intake from the world. The old adage “You are what you eat” applies to more than just food. Our diet, be it food or media, decides what we become. We will become hateful and contemptuous if we listen to talking heads that spew hate and derision. We will become more loving and compassionate if we only engage with things that support our values and grow our capacity for love and compassion.
I am not done with pilgrimage. Life is a pilgrimage. I ordered a ring with the word pilgrimage engraved on it and wore it throughout 2022 as a reminder of my focus. I ordered a similar ring with align engraved on it. I wear it next to my pilgrimage ring now. A reminder of what I am doing here on this planet.
May your pilgrimage through 2023 bring you growth and alignment.