Art Class Refuge

I took an art class my first year at Fatima High School. Overall, it was one of my favorite classes, in part because of Ms. Helms. She was a kind, open, and supportive soul to an incredibly insecure 15-year-old me.

Name Plate, Paint on foam board, circa 1995-96.

My freshman year of high school was hell for me. It was more than just the adjustment from a small Catholic School of about 80 students (grades 1-8) to a public high school with more than 100 in my class. I had no friends at my new school. Someone I thought was my friend dropped me by the end of the first week of classes when they realized how unpopular I was and how much they wanted to be a part of the “popular” group. My classmates picked on me mercilessly. Looking back, I probably could have filed sexual harassment charges against at least one of them for their behavior. My stuff was stolen from my locker on several occasions. The school administration even moved my locker and assigned me my own locker to deal with the issue. Most students had 1-2 locker mates because there weren’t enough lockers for all of the students. Having my own locker allowed me to put a padlock on it…which deterred students but didn’t stop them from continuing to break into my locker.

Captain Kathyrn Janeway, white crayon on black paper, circa 1995-96.

I remember coming home after one especially tough day begging my mom to let me transfer to the private, Catholic high school in Jefferson City. This was a big ask since it was expensive and there was no bus service. My mom would have to handle the tuition on her single mom paycheck and figure out how to get me to and from school each day. I knew it was a big ask, but I was abused by my classmates daily at Fatima and didn’t feel I could handle one more day there. She convinced me to wait until the semester break, and we would explore this option then. I grudgingly agreed with tears on my face and pain in my heart.

I found ways to cope in the meantime. I found a classroom to hide in before school started rather than stand in the hallway with other students and talk. I always had a book with me and read before and after class and on the bus. I found another outcast person like me, and we sat together at lunch and stuck together in PE. Looking back, I don’t think we were really friends as much as we took some solace in not being alone in the high school jungle. My goal was to limit my visibility to other students when they were most likely to bully me. For the most part, my plan worked. It made the situation bearable.

Paper Collage, Photographed and edited, created in 2021.

Art Collage, made in 2021

I also took solace in my sixth-hour art class. I could get lost in the creative projects, students, for the most part, left me alone there, and Ms. Helms seemed to understand that I was having a hard time. On one particularly embarrassing day, she let me cry and listened to what had happened. She was supportive and kind when no one had been to me all day.

She let me be me. I was a HUGE Star Trek: Voyager fan at the time. You can see why I wasn’t part of the popular group. She was ok with me using this interest in any project I could work it into. She also supported some rogue art projects I worked on when I was done with my assigned work. She introduced me to pottery. I threw a coffee cup on the wheel, created a coil bowl, and a slab pitcher with a daisy on the side. I learned about the color wheel and made one using a repeating pattern of Voyager and stellar imagery. I learned one-point perspective, stippling, and was assured that you didn’t need to be able to make a straight line to draw. This was especially helpful because I still can’t draw a straight line to this day. It was a step in encouraging us to accept ourselves with our talents.

Clay slab candle holders, made in 2016 (left) and 2018 (right)

Thrown Clay Plates, circa 2014.

By the end of my freshman year, I had found a groove that allowed me to cope with high school. I didn’t transfer to Helias in Jefferson City. I was still an outcast and was still picked on, but I had made it through the worst part of what was my high school experience.

What I learned in Ms. Helm’s class has followed me through my life. I spent several years pre-pandemic creating my own pottery using some of the skills I learned in her class as a foundation. I have recently started learning other drawing techniques and am exploring other creative outlets. I also learned how just one person showing care can impact someone. I genuinely don’t know how I would have made it through that year if I hadn’t been for Ms. Helms and her art class. She provided me with more than art education. She gave me a safe place to weather the trials of that year and a foundation of art knowledge that has lasted me 25+ years…and will last me the rest of my life.

Butterfly and Flowers Photograph, circa 2016

Please Note: All of the art showcased in this blog post is mine. The first two were made in Ms. Helm’s art class. The others are a selection of pieces I have created using various techniques while exploring and creating art in adulthood. Even this blog is a form of art. I may have never done this work if not for her art class.

Art education is important and needs to be maintained and funded just like reading, writing, and arithmetic.