Everyone wants your attention.
The junk mail.
The spam texts.
The telemarketers.
The jingles on the radio.
The commercials on TV.
The ads on social media.
The Billboards along the roadside.
The videos blaring at the gas stations.
The sponsored content in online news.
Each one stealing a little from you,
Until you have nothing left to give.
Me on my birthday in City of Rocks State Park in New Mexico.
Primetime, prime numbers, Amazon Prime, prime meridian, prime rib, Prime Directive, primadonna, primeval, Optimus Prime, primordial, prime cut, prima ballerina, prime of your life.
Prime can be used as an adjective or a noun. As an adjective, it means of first importance, main, of the best possible quality, excellent. As a noun, it is a state or time of greatest strength, vigor, or success in a person’s life. The word originates from Old English prim and from Latin prima.
Needless to say, I have been thinking about prime lately.
There are a total of 25 prime numbers between 1 and 100 – 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97.
Me on my birthday in City of Rocks State Park in New Mexico.
I had no idea until I made this list that I had already celebrated 12 prime years of my life. If I live to 100, I will celebrate 12 more. This puts me squarely in mid-life.
I just celebrated prime birthday number 13, a prime number itself. This prime birthday by extension makes this a prime year for me. This is how I am framing this next trip around the sun for me – a prime year.
A prime year to learn, to grow, the develop relationships with those I love, to get stronger, to explore, to read more, and to continue enjoying this thing we call life.
I am truly in my prime.
I look forward to where this prime year will lead me.
Thanks to Fred Bogott for pointing out that 41 is a prime number. You inspired this post and my outlook on this coming year.
One year ago this month, I posted my first blog. I created this space to help me develop my voice and become a better writer. Over the course of the past year, I have learned a lot about myself, how I want to live my life, what I want to say with my voice, and how I want to say it. I will let you debate on the improvement of my writing skills.
Biking the Root River Trail, Summer 2021
The blogs I have shared here have come to me while riding my bike, driving to Missouri to visit my family, and tearfully at 3 am when I couldn’t sleep. I have writing ideas jotted in my various journals, in my notes app on my phone, and on my computer. Some of these ideas will become blogs posted here. Others will never get beyond those few jotted notes.
I have also drafted a few pieces that will not be shared on this blog or anywhere else. They are still too raw and do not communicate a message that I think is worth sharing with the general public. While I have a first amendment right to freedom of speech, that doesn’t mean that all of my speech needs to be shared. I strongly believe in freedom of speech, but I also feel we have the responsibility to self-censure when that speech won’t contribute to creating a productive discourse or a more perfect union.
I have learned so much over the past year while writing for this blog. I learned that I am not good at writing book reviews. While I love to read books, writing reviews is not my jam. It puts too much pressure on me and takes away some of the pleasure I get from reading.
I learned that a good piece doesn’t have to be long. One of my favorite poems is only 4 words long.
I have learned that some ideas/thoughts are not things I want to spend my time writing about, so I let them go back into the invisible universe of ideas. Someone else can use their time to explore it.
I learned that stillness, reflection, and time are key to developing a good blog post. I don’t have to shoot for the moon. The simplest of ideas tend to lend themselves to better writing. (I assume that if you are reading this that you think my blogs are at least marginally good. If you disagree that my blogs are any good, then I wonder why you are reading this and not something else.)
I learned blogging provides space for me to examine, process, and rethink my life, values, ideas, the world around me. I learned that facts are guideposts for me to locate truth, which is incredibly valuable to me. I learned that I have a hard time relating to people who don’t value facts as I do.
This space has also allowed me to take a trip down memory lane. The nostalgia has been a welcome respite during the pandemic. It has also helped me to appreciate some things in my life I had never given deep thought to previously.
I have also learned that I want to keep doing this work. Even if no one else ever reads this, I find value in writing it…and that’s all that really matters to me.
As I state on the front page of this blog, “…this blog is for my growth and learning…” I still don’t know where this work is leading me, but I am enjoying the journey.
I look forward to seeing where it takes me over the next year.
Thanks to all of you who have read and continue to read my blogs and sent me feedback over the past year. I really appreciate your time and insights.
I want to give a big thanks to Sue Grove, who has proofed some of my blogs and helped me learn how to write using active voice. I am by no means perfect in this, but I am improving with every sentence I write.
Thank you also to my wonderful partner, Jason, who manages all the website details so I can just think, write, and post. Thank you for being a cheerleader for my vision. I love you.
Created using Canva.
I turned 40 last year and have started thinking more about how I spend my time, my life. The first 40 years went incredibly fast. I can only imagine how quickly my remaining years will go. I want to have a meaningful impact on the world and participate in activities that are satisfying. This desire is slowly making me more aware of how I spend my time and consider how I want to spend my time.
The other night, I was watching videos on YouTube before bed.
In one of the videos, a woman said that if you watch just 2-hours of YouTube videos each day, that over the course of a year, you will spend one month watching YouTube.
This didn’t seem possible, so I did the math:
2 hours x 365 days = 730 hours
730 hours/24 hours = 30.417 days
She was absolutely correct.
It is amazing how something so seemingly small can build into a large amount of time.
This made me think – is there really that much on YouTube worth watching that I would give up a month of my life each year for it? While there is good content on YouTube, is everything I watch worth my time? Do I really find satisfaction from this activity?
This idea can be applied to anything we spend a fair amount of time doing each day.
Do I find (Insert activity here) so satisfying that I want to spend one month of the year doing it?
This activity could be anything. Playing a video game, listening to music, running, watching TV, or scrolling through social media.
I jumped onto Screen Time on my iphone and ipad to see what I had been doing with my time. Here is what I found:
15.75 hours on YouTube
19 hours playing games (granted, a good chunk of this was walking while Pokemon Go was open in my pocket, tracking my steps, but 10.5 hours this time was spent playing Two Dots).
4.25 hours on social media
I had no idea how my screen time had added up. It impacted my ability to focus, be still, and participate in activities that matter to me, like reading, cycling, and spending time with my partner. I had spent nearly 40 hours the previous week participating in activities that The Eisenhower Matrix classifies as Not Urgent and Not Important.
This did not sit well with me.
The Eisenhower Matrix. This graphic taken from https://todoist.com/productivity-methods/eisenhower-matrix. Be sure to check out this article to learn more about the Eisenhower Matrix.
Please don’t get me wrong, I am not one of these people that feels I have to spend every minute of every day doing something productive. I understand the need for rest, hobbies, and space in the day and have worked to incorporate these activities into my life. Recreation is a very good thing; however, I wondered if this is the recreation I need? This self-analysis is about being intentional in the use of my time and not about labeling anything as “good” or “bad.” There is nothing inherently bad with watching YouTube videos, using social media, or playing video games. I just don’t want to do them mindlessly or overuse it.
I decided to track what I watch on YouTube and generally how much time in general on screens and what activities I do during that time for a week. I didn’t include work-related activities, just those done outside of my work responsibilities. I also decided that I would spend all my recreational screen time on my phone and tablet since I can track my time/usage easier on those devices.
Just being aware of how much time I spent watching videos on YouTube, scrolling through Facebook, or playing games changed my habits. By the end of week 5, my use of YouTube dropped by nearly half and I had removed two games from my devices, dropping my time spent gaming by 84%. I just didn’t find it as fulfilling anymore. My social media use stayed roughly the same the whole time. My screen time spent on social media, games, and YouTube dropped in total by half.
I also started paying attention to what I watched on YouTube and why I was watching it. Was I looking for creative ideas, entertainment, education, or simply a cute dog/cat video to lift my mood.
The time I found by changing my habits allowed me to write more blogs (like this one), binge an entire audiobook in a weekend (I highly recommend Lincoln in the Bardo. SUCH a good book!), and spend more time with the people I love.
I am not done with this experiment yet. I plan to keep going with this awareness and see where it takes me. I don’t want to stare at a screen to become a mindless habit.
I feel I have taken a good step forward on this intention.
These are my 5 questions from my bullet journal.
I am an introvert and not a fan of small talk. I understand its purpose is to start conversations between people, but it can also be hard to move beyond. It also wears on me to have the same conversation over and over again with people.
Where are you from?
What do you do for a living?
Are you married?
Do you have any kids?
How about this weather?
Welcome to my own personal hell.
A few years ago, I developed 5 questions to help start conversations. I developed these questions by considering what my friends and I most commonly talk about and what interests we have in common. I actually got this idea from a friend of mine who did something similar; however, the only question we have in common is regarding the books we are currently reading.
I can usually use 2-3 of these questions with anyone I meet. I have found they provide a way to have deeper conversations with people and are an easy way to find common ground with a person I have just met.
This is one of my three go-to questions. SO many people read, so this is a great way to find common ground with someone AND get some good book recommendations. This is also a way to learn more about the interests of the other person and provide fuel for further deep discussion.
This is my second go-to question. There are so many podcasts available today. Most of the people I know listen to at least 1 podcast. This is a great way to get an idea of what interests another person and provide further topics for discussion.
I am a growth-minded person. This is a deep, introspective question that I love to discuss with others, but I can’t use it with everyone. It needs to be used intentionally because not everyone is growth-minded and open to exploring this topic. Be sure to test your audience before deploying this question.
This is my third go-to question. It is a way to uplift the conversation and connect with someone. Everyone can find something to be thankful for, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. Right now, I am thankful for the ice tea I am enjoying, the computer I am working on, and the rainy day that allows for contemplation and time to blog.
This one has to be deployed with people who participate in The One Word. I only use it with friends who I know have a word. It’s a way to support each other and share our personal work. Again, this question will only work with a very specific audience, so be strategic with this one.
I keep these questions written down in my bullet journal so I can easily access them if I need them. They can also be saved in a phone or written on a small piece of paper for easy access. I have for the most part committed them to memory but like to keep them handy just in case my brain decides to go an on unannounced holiday.
If you are tired of small talk and want to jump-start conversations with more substance, I encourage you to write your own questions. They will help you have more meaningful and connecting conversations during your day.
A special thanks to Jennifer L. for giving me the idea of creating questions to start conversations with others. I am so thankful for you and our friendship. You encourage me to be a better person.
A good cup of tea can make all the difference. Something to warm your hands, wet your throat, and soothe your soul.
A cup of tea is a good friend who creates the space you need to care for yourself. The friend who can just be there and require nothing in return. Who keeps your secrets, never judges, and lets you regather yourself on the hard days.
Or who just sits with you in your joy and basks in it.
The definition of independence, obtained from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
I didn’t get out of bed or drive to work in the morning on my own. An alarm wakes me up. Someone who isn’t me designed that alarm. Someone who isn’t me maintains the power grid that powers my alarm clock. My hot shower is possible because of the water heater in my house, who was designed, installed, and maintained by other people. Austin Utilities provides the natural gas and water and maintains the pipes that bring these resources to my house. Someone who isn’t me constructed the bathroom in my house back in 1955, when my house was built by someone who was not me.
Someone who isn’t me paved the road I drive to work in the car I drive, which was built and designed by Mazda. The City of Austin clears the streets of snow and puts down ice melt and sand to make my trip safer.
The definition of independent, obtained from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
What we do today is possible because of those who came before us, who pathed the way for us. We work together to build the communities and world we live in. None of us live in a bubble. There are people who impact our lives that we will never know. The colleague who encouraged your grandpa on a hard day while he served for 4 years in WWII. The neighbor who motivated your great-great-grandparents to immigrate to a small town in rural Missouri in the 1870s. The philanthropist who made an anonymous endowment to your college provided the funds for the scholarship that paid for half of your tuition.
The lie we tell ourselves is that we did it all on our own. That we earned that scholarship without any assistance from another, nevermind teachers, parents, and tutors helped us with our school work. That we got ourselves out of bed and ready for work without assistance. That we take care of ourselves and no one else does. We are interconnected and dependent on each other in this world. None of us gets anywhere on our own. We were all helped by countless others we will never know in ways we can’t imagine.
Interdependence is how a society functions. There is no such thing as true independence if you live in a society. There is no way to be free of the influence of others when you live around others. It’s a myth we tell ourselves to calm our fears, boost our ego, and help us feel safe.
One late summer evening, I had the opportunity to take a night ride on my bicycle. Headed home from yoga, with my mat slug across my back, I decided to take the long way. The air was relatively dry for a late-August Minnesota night. The sun had set 15 minutes prior and the street lights were on.
The obnoxious light on my rear bike tire that helps keep me safe during night rides.
There is something special about a night ride. When I walk, I usually have my AirPods in, listening to a book or podcast, and I am playing Pokémon Go. Yes, I am a 40-year-old-grown-ass-woman who plays Pokémon. Go team Mystic! Since I am on my bike, my AirPods are out and my phone is secured in my bag. Riding gets my full attention.
The songs of crickets and cicadas become my soundtrack. The lights from the cars and street lamps cast ever-changing shapes on the pavement around me. I look down between my pumping legs and see that obnoxious light spin in and out of my vision on my back tire, each time a different hue of the rainbow.
I see pockets of the world in the darkness. The shape of a tree against the darkening sky. The dimly lit front stoop of a home. The flashing bubble-gums of the county mounty who caught himself a speeder along Oakland. I let this different world surround me, embrace me. There is a stillness that comes with night riding and I open to it. I feel the cool pockets of air on my skin. I enjoy the intimacy and privacy that comes with darkness.
My eyes catch the first “star” in the sky as I turn towards home. Jupiter is bright and hovers above, guiding me back to the land of lamps and light.
Image purchased from iStock by Getty Images.
Designed by nazlisart.
I woke up to the conversation on the radio. In my bleary state, I heard the voices say two planes had crashed into the Twin Towers in New York City. I was instantly awake and across the apartment to turn on the TV. The scenes were horrific. Straight out a disaster flick starring Bruce Willis. Moments later, the South Tower collapsed. I quickly showered and dressed for my day. Before I left my apartment for the Southwest Missouri State University campus, the North Tower Collapsed.
I canceled everything for the day and was glued to the TVs on campus and in apartments with friends. Silence and disbelief filled every space.
I sat with friends at their apartment in the afternoon and watched as Dan Rather aired a video for the first time showing people jumping from the buildings prior to their collapse.
I witnessed the wreckage of Flight 93, which passengers forced down in a field in Pennsylvania. Later, It was determined the plane’s likely final target was in Washington DC.
I observed the crumbled side of the Pentagon, where Flight 77 crashed into the building.
I heard the phone calls made by loved ones on the four planes the crashed that day. All sending one last message of love.
For the following year, there were cars everywhere sporting the American flag, Toby Keith and Alan Jackson played on repeat on country stations, and the U.S. collectively mourned the 2,996 people who died on that day in the towers and crashed flights. We were united in our grief and patriotism.
In a matter of minutes, we all lived in a different world. One that grew to include Homeland Security, full-body scans, no-fly lists, and a whole new meaning to the numbers 9 and 11.
In March of 2020, another major event struck the world – the Coronavirus.
All of the college classes I taught went online. Employees and students were sent home to help stop the spread.
Social distancing. Lessons on handwashing. Teams of sewers making masks out of every scrap of fabric they could find.
Zoom became the place to meet for class, meetings, and happy hour. Some of the world made a shift to baking bread at home, wearing PJs or yoga pants for everything, and drive-thru grocery pick-up. Alcohol sales skyrocketed.
Again, the world changed quickly and will be forever different. Finding the “new normal” was a common topic of conversation. Some accepted this reality, others chose to deny it.
Rather than coming together as we did nearly 20 years earlier when the towers fell, we split into groups. Maskers and anti-maskers and eventually vaxxers and anti-vaxxers. People who listened to the experts and believed what science was learning and people who didn’t. Conspiracy theories and misinformation spread faster than the virus thanks to social media.
The turning point we are facing now is more than a virus. More than masking, vaccinations, and the changing way we move and work in the world. We no longer agree on reality. We live in different news bubbles, worlds driven by whatever we chose to take as fact even if it’s really a falsehood. Lives where we get to deny reality because it makes us feel better, even if that denial kills others.
The turning point we face now is the division in our society. It’s an internal threat that can’t be addressed by invading another country. It has to start within each of us. We are our own worst enemies now. We are the hijackers, the terrorists in our nation. We are also the healers, the uniters if we so choose to be.
The question then is “Which do you choose?”
©2023 Catherine Haslag, All Rights Reserved.
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine Haslag