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© Catherine Haslag

Cream of Creature From the School Cafeteria

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When I was in second or third grade when a copy of Cream of Creature From the School Cafeteria by Mike Thaler made its way onto my bookshelf. I am not sure where it came from. It wasn’t from a Scholastic book order and I didn’t get it from a bookstore. Nonetheless, it was one of the coolest books I read as a kid…mostly because of the ridiculous gross factor.

It is the story of lunchtime at an elementary school. The students are headed to the cafeteria and smell something bad in the air. They also hear strange noises coming from the cafeteria. As the students lined up to get their food, they discovered Lunch was alive and coming for them. Lunch bubbled out of the pot and proceeded to chase them through the school, eating the lunch lady and principal in the process. The more Lunch ate, the more it grew. The police and fire departments tried to stop it, but their attempts failed. The army used flame throwers to try to stop Lunch but just ended up getting eaten by a now hot Lunch. When the air force was called in, Lunch ate the bombs they dropped along with the school’s playground equipment. Everything just made it angry and more hungry.

Mickey, a student at the school, was the last hope. Mickey would eat anything. Mickey agreed to help. He walked onto the playground, pulled out his spoons, and waited for Lunch to come to him.

If you want to know how this book ends, you will have to read a copy of it. I don’t like to spoil such a dramatic ending.

The thing I love about this book is how ridiculous the story is. The idea that the cafeteria lunch could eat the school is impossible, but it’s also fantastically fanciful and enthralling for an 8-year old. Even when I read it as an adult, it tickles the kid in me. That a burbling, gurgling, green lunch could consume a school and those in it is hilarious. That the only hope to defeating it could be a quiet, little kid is the cherry on top.

I always like it when the quiet kid saves the day.

What the Wind Told

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Cover of What the Wind Told by Betty Boegehold.

One of my favorite books of all time came into my life on a Halloween night. A neighbor lady worked at Scholastics and gave out candy and books to trick-or-treaters. I was the last kid to come to her house one year so I was the lucky recipient of half a crystal punch bowl of candy and a stack of books. A jackpot of massive proportions to someone who could still count their age and not use all their fingers to do so. One of the books in my acquisition was titled What the Wind Told.

The story of the Old Woman’s Window.

Published in 1974 and written by Betty Boegehold, this book tells the story of Tossy, a little girl who is homesick and bored out of her mind. She eventually asks the Wind to tell her stories about the windows across the way to help her pass the time. The Wind tells Tossy stories of a woman whose kitchen floor turns into a pond during the day, a family of plants who keep their children on the window sill, and a dog who sits typing names for things all day long.

The story of the Old Dog’s Window.

What the Wind Told opened my child-mind to the idea that each window contains a story. I wanted to learn those stories. To this day, I enjoy touring other’s homes and looking at their houses as I walk down the street. Each window tells a story about the people who live there. The widower who hasn’t changed anything in the living room since his wife died. The family of 6 who lives in a 2-bedroom house. Bunk beds stacked in one bedroom with sheets in the windows for curtains. The retired neighbor who loves to sit on his 3-season porch and wave at passers-by. The immigrant family who purchased their first home and is chasing their American Dream.

Drool and Gool hiding in the middle of their apartment, terrified.

More than 30 years later this book still inspires my imagination. A home a few doors down from where I live has captivated me for years. It reminds me of the Scary window described by the Wind. The windows are dark and the curtains are always drawn. I never see anyone come and go from the house. There is no car in the driveway or garage. There are never any tire tracks in the snow come winter and the sidewalk is never shoveled. Sometimes I see a cat in the window, staring back in boredom. There are decorations by the door and someone does live there, but there is no evidence of this other than the bored window cat and dumpster and recycling found weekly at the curb. Every time I walk by this house, I imagine that Drool and Gool are hunkered down in a pile of furniture in the living room, hoping no one calls or knocks.

Unfortunately, What the Wind Told is out of print and copies of it are very expensive. I am so thankful for the neighbor who gave me this book when I was a child. It sparked my imagination and taught me that windows are glimpses into others’ lives. The stories our windows tell about us are beautiful and incomplete. A glance at the private lives contained in our homes and hearts.

 

PLEASE NOTE:  All photos used in this blog were taken from my copy of What the Wind Told and are not my personal work or of my creative labor. They were used in this blog to help communicate the essence of the book and provide an illustration of the stories the author was telling.

A VERY SPECIAL THANK YOU to Alvina Jaegers for the Halloween candy and books. Your house was my favorite to visit on Halloween night.