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© 2022 Catherine Haslag, All Rights Reserved
© 2022 Catherine Haslag, All Rights Reserved
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine HaslagPrime
Me on my birthday in City of Rocks State Park in New Mexico.
Primetime, prime numbers, Amazon Prime, prime meridian, prime rib, Prime Directive, primadonna, primeval, Optimus Prime, primordial, prime cut, prima ballerina, prime of your life.
Prime can be used as an adjective or a noun. As an adjective, it means of first importance, main, of the best possible quality, excellent. As a noun, it is a state or time of greatest strength, vigor, or success in a person’s life. The word originates from Old English prim and from Latin prima.
Needless to say, I have been thinking about prime lately.
There are a total of 25 prime numbers between 1 and 100 – 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97.
Me on my birthday in City of Rocks State Park in New Mexico.
I had no idea until I made this list that I had already celebrated 12 prime years of my life. If I live to 100, I will celebrate 12 more. This puts me squarely in mid-life.
I just celebrated prime birthday number 13, a prime number itself. This prime birthday by extension makes this a prime year for me. This is how I am framing this next trip around the sun for me – a prime year.
A prime year to learn, to grow, the develop relationships with those I love, to get stronger, to explore, to read more, and to continue enjoying this thing we call life.
I am truly in my prime.
I look forward to where this prime year will lead me.
Thanks to Fred Bogott for pointing out that 41 is a prime number. You inspired this post and my outlook on this coming year.
© Catherine HaslagOne Year
One year ago this month, I posted my first blog. I created this space to help me develop my voice and become a better writer. Over the course of the past year, I have learned a lot about myself, how I want to live my life, what I want to say with my voice, and how I want to say it. I will let you debate on the improvement of my writing skills.
Biking the Root River Trail, Summer 2021
The blogs I have shared here have come to me while riding my bike, driving to Missouri to visit my family, and tearfully at 3 am when I couldn’t sleep. I have writing ideas jotted in my various journals, in my notes app on my phone, and on my computer. Some of these ideas will become blogs posted here. Others will never get beyond those few jotted notes.
I have also drafted a few pieces that will not be shared on this blog or anywhere else. They are still too raw and do not communicate a message that I think is worth sharing with the general public. While I have a first amendment right to freedom of speech, that doesn’t mean that all of my speech needs to be shared. I strongly believe in freedom of speech, but I also feel we have the responsibility to self-censure when that speech won’t contribute to creating a productive discourse or a more perfect union.
I have learned so much over the past year while writing for this blog. I learned that I am not good at writing book reviews. While I love to read books, writing reviews is not my jam. It puts too much pressure on me and takes away some of the pleasure I get from reading.
I learned that a good piece doesn’t have to be long. One of my favorite poems is only 4 words long.
I have learned that some ideas/thoughts are not things I want to spend my time writing about, so I let them go back into the invisible universe of ideas. Someone else can use their time to explore it.
I learned that stillness, reflection, and time are key to developing a good blog post. I don’t have to shoot for the moon. The simplest of ideas tend to lend themselves to better writing. (I assume that if you are reading this that you think my blogs are at least marginally good. If you disagree that my blogs are any good, then I wonder why you are reading this and not something else.)
I learned blogging provides space for me to examine, process, and rethink my life, values, ideas, the world around me. I learned that facts are guideposts for me to locate truth, which is incredibly valuable to me. I learned that I have a hard time relating to people who don’t value facts as I do.
This space has also allowed me to take a trip down memory lane. The nostalgia has been a welcome respite during the pandemic. It has also helped me to appreciate some things in my life I had never given deep thought to previously.
I have also learned that I want to keep doing this work. Even if no one else ever reads this, I find value in writing it…and that’s all that really matters to me.
As I state on the front page of this blog, “…this blog is for my growth and learning…” I still don’t know where this work is leading me, but I am enjoying the journey.
I look forward to seeing where it takes me over the next year.
A Very Special Thanks…
Thanks to all of you who have read and continue to read my blogs and sent me feedback over the past year. I really appreciate your time and insights.
I want to give a big thanks to Sue Grove, who has proofed some of my blogs and helped me learn how to write using active voice. I am by no means perfect in this, but I am improving with every sentence I write.
Thank you also to my wonderful partner, Jason, who manages all the website details so I can just think, write, and post. Thank you for being a cheerleader for my vision. I love you.
© Catherine HaslagThe 5 Questions
These are my 5 questions from my bullet journal.
I am an introvert and not a fan of small talk. I understand its purpose is to start conversations between people, but it can also be hard to move beyond. It also wears on me to have the same conversation over and over again with people.
Where are you from?
What do you do for a living?
Are you married?
Do you have any kids?
How about this weather?
Welcome to my own personal hell.
A few years ago, I developed 5 questions to help start conversations. I developed these questions by considering what my friends and I most commonly talk about and what interests we have in common. I actually got this idea from a friend of mine who did something similar; however, the only question we have in common is regarding the books we are currently reading.
I can usually use 2-3 of these questions with anyone I meet. I have found they provide a way to have deeper conversations with people and are an easy way to find common ground with a person I have just met.
Question #1 – What are you reading?
This is one of my three go-to questions. SO many people read, so this is a great way to find common ground with someone AND get some good book recommendations. This is also a way to learn more about the interests of the other person and provide fuel for further deep discussion.
Question #2 – What podcasts are you listening to?
This is my second go-to question. There are so many podcasts available today. Most of the people I know listen to at least 1 podcast. This is a great way to get an idea of what interests another person and provide further topics for discussion.
Question #3 – What are you learning?
I am a growth-minded person. This is a deep, introspective question that I love to discuss with others, but I can’t use it with everyone. It needs to be used intentionally because not everyone is growth-minded and open to exploring this topic. Be sure to test your audience before deploying this question.
Question #4 – What are you grateful for?
This is my third go-to question. It is a way to uplift the conversation and connect with someone. Everyone can find something to be thankful for, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. Right now, I am thankful for the ice tea I am enjoying, the computer I am working on, and the rainy day that allows for contemplation and time to blog.
Question #5 – How is your word going?
This one has to be deployed with people who participate in The One Word. I only use it with friends who I know have a word. It’s a way to support each other and share our personal work. Again, this question will only work with a very specific audience, so be strategic with this one.
I keep these questions written down in my bullet journal so I can easily access them if I need them. They can also be saved in a phone or written on a small piece of paper for easy access. I have for the most part committed them to memory but like to keep them handy just in case my brain decides to go an on unannounced holiday.
If you are tired of small talk and want to jump-start conversations with more substance, I encourage you to write your own questions. They will help you have more meaningful and connecting conversations during your day.
A Special Thanks
A special thanks to Jennifer L. for giving me the idea of creating questions to start conversations with others. I am so thankful for you and our friendship. You encourage me to be a better person.
© Catherine HaslagDear Ms. L’Engle
Dear Ms. L’Engle,
My copy of A Wrinkle in Time, which I read in 5th grade.
It started as a school assignment
in 5th grade. Eighteen copies of A Wrinkle in Time lined up on the shelf like identical little soldiers as Mrs. Hitz talked about the first novel we were reading for the year. We were going to read 4 such novels between August and May. Yours has been with me ever since.
I still have the copy we read. Since our parents provided the money to buy the copies for the classes to share, we got to take them home at the end of the year. It has had an honored spot on my bookcase ever since. My steady companion for 30 years. It was my introduction to the sci-fi/fantasy genre of books. I loved the whimsy of Ms. Who, Ms. What, and Ms. Which. The tesseract boggled my young mind.
I related strongly to the heroine Meg, an awkward girl who doesn’t yet know or trust her abilities. Who doesn’t yet know where she fits in the world. My 11-year-old self hadn’t yet begun to really test what she was capable of let alone trust her abilities. Meg gave me a role model to learn from.
I eventually discovered there were four books about the adventures of Meg and her brothers. I devoured A Wind in the Door and A Swiftly Tilting Planet. I couldn’t get into the adventures of Sandy and Dennys in Many Waters. I am sorry to say they were my least favorite characters in the world you created. The only book of the Time Quartet I didn’t read.
In college, I discovered Meg had a daughter, Polly, when I read An Acceptable Time. I was at another turning point as I was stepping into the adult world. I could relate to Polly just as I had Meg when I was 11.
I recently listened to A Wrinkle in Time on audiobook through my library. It reads just as well at 40 as it did at 11. This time, I was reminded that I still have that unsure girl in me, my own internal Meg, but I also have experience that reminds me I have been tested and that I am strong. I know what I can do and I can trust my skills. I now know my place in this world. Your books helped me make this journey because I could relate to your characters and their challenges. Thank you for bridging that gap so I could grow into who I am today.
Sincerely,
Catherine
© Catherine HaslagA Simple Moment
My grandpa and I (age 2) eating lunch in the kitchen.
My grandfather died 2 months before my 13th birthday. Other family members died previously, but my grandpa’s death was the first big death I was old enough to remember in any kind of significant way. I had the wind knocked out of me in a way I hadn’t experienced before.
It started Labor Day weekend. My mom was in D.C. on a business trip, so I stayed at my grandparent’s house that week while she was away. Grandpa started to feel ill over the weekend. He didn’t want to go to the hospital. My uncles finally convinced him to see a doctor on Tuesday if he wasn’t feeling better. He was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday and died Thursday morning before I got on the bus to school. I found out about 10a when my Uncle Willie called the school. He picked me up 20 minutes later. I can still remember the silence of the truck ride back to what just that morning had been grandma AND grandpa’s house.
That night, my grandma stayed in bed. She had just lost her husband of 47 years. My uncles were gone, probably making funeral arrangements. My job for the evening: answer the door when people came to pay their condolences, receive any food they brought, and Tetris it into one of the refrigerators in the house. (I grew up in a very small town and EVERYONE feeds you when there is a death.)
My grandpa loved to pull us behind his mower – be it on a toboggan or in a wagon.
My grandparent’s neighbor, Barb, brought over a breakfast casserole. We went into the kitchen to add the casserole to the already bulging contents of the green fridge. After closing the fridge door, I looked at her. We probably stood there for only 10 or 15 seconds, but it felt like so much longer. Neither of us spoke yet we shared volumes. We stood there in our silence, looking at each other. I felt like she knew everything I was feeling. That she got me in that moment, understood the weight of my grief, and made a space for it. It was a gift. We shared a teary hug and then she went home.
I don’t remember anything else regarding what people brought or even who visited my grandparent’s house that night, but I remember every second of that brief exchange with Barb 27 years later. I doubt Barb remembers it or has given it a second thought, but this moment touched me deeply. I felt like someone really saw me in my grief in that moment and it was everything to me. We offer these moments to people without even realizing the gift we have given them.
The gift of a simple moment too deep for time.