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© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine Haslag
© Catherine HaslagUn
I live life by the semester as a college teacher: fall, spring, and summer.
It’s generally an excellent rhythm for me. I have time and space to work on new ideas for my classes in the summer. This is important because it’s hard to work on new ideas for courses while teaching. Then, in the fall and spring, I put those ideas to use and focus on working with my students.
This fall was the first time I wasn’t giddy about going back to school. It wasn’t the usual fresh start I previously relished. Usually, I enjoy the buzz and energy of the new school year, but not this year. This August felt more like a trudge into the repetitive and mundane. I wasn’t starting as my usual, fresh from summer self.
This semester has been one of the hardest of my career. I see the exhaustion in my students and feel that same exhaustion in myself. So many mornings, I have said “Good morning” at the start of class and received silence in return. The students I see are shell-shocked and burned, even at 9am. This doesn’t bode well if they have later classes. It’s hard to keep students motivated when they are already running at less than half a tank. It’s even more complicated when your tank is low as well.
I know my students and I aren’t the only ones who feel the weight of it all. We are about to enter year 3 of a pandemic with no unified approach and no definite end in sight. Our country is divided as it has been for more than 150 years. Misinformation runs through the internet and cable wires like wildfire, adding to the mess. We went on as best we could with life as usual, but this is a time of the unusual, the uncertain, the unsettled, the uncomfortable, the unrest…this is a time of the un.
There is no semester rhythm in the time of the un.
Next week, I will give finals, figure grades, and make a game plan for the short break between the fall and spring semesters. This is a time to rest and prepare for the spring semester – when I will do my best to deal with the un of life…and hope my students will too.
©2023 Catherine Haslag, All Rights Reserved.Attention
Everyone wants your attention.
The junk mail.
The spam texts.
The telemarketers.
The jingles on the radio.
The commercials on TV.
The ads on social media.
The Billboards along the roadside.
The videos blaring at the gas stations.
The sponsored content in online news.
Each one stealing a little from you,
Until you have nothing left to give.
© Catherine HaslagPrime
Me on my birthday in City of Rocks State Park in New Mexico.
Primetime, prime numbers, Amazon Prime, prime meridian, prime rib, Prime Directive, primadonna, primeval, Optimus Prime, primordial, prime cut, prima ballerina, prime of your life.
Prime can be used as an adjective or a noun. As an adjective, it means of first importance, main, of the best possible quality, excellent. As a noun, it is a state or time of greatest strength, vigor, or success in a person’s life. The word originates from Old English prim and from Latin prima.
Needless to say, I have been thinking about prime lately.
There are a total of 25 prime numbers between 1 and 100 – 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, 97.
Me on my birthday in City of Rocks State Park in New Mexico.
I had no idea until I made this list that I had already celebrated 12 prime years of my life. If I live to 100, I will celebrate 12 more. This puts me squarely in mid-life.
I just celebrated prime birthday number 13, a prime number itself. This prime birthday by extension makes this a prime year for me. This is how I am framing this next trip around the sun for me – a prime year.
A prime year to learn, to grow, the develop relationships with those I love, to get stronger, to explore, to read more, and to continue enjoying this thing we call life.
I am truly in my prime.
I look forward to where this prime year will lead me.
Thanks to Fred Bogott for pointing out that 41 is a prime number. You inspired this post and my outlook on this coming year.
© Catherine HaslagOne Year
One year ago this month, I posted my first blog. I created this space to help me develop my voice and become a better writer. Over the course of the past year, I have learned a lot about myself, how I want to live my life, what I want to say with my voice, and how I want to say it. I will let you debate on the improvement of my writing skills.
Biking the Root River Trail, Summer 2021
The blogs I have shared here have come to me while riding my bike, driving to Missouri to visit my family, and tearfully at 3 am when I couldn’t sleep. I have writing ideas jotted in my various journals, in my notes app on my phone, and on my computer. Some of these ideas will become blogs posted here. Others will never get beyond those few jotted notes.
I have also drafted a few pieces that will not be shared on this blog or anywhere else. They are still too raw and do not communicate a message that I think is worth sharing with the general public. While I have a first amendment right to freedom of speech, that doesn’t mean that all of my speech needs to be shared. I strongly believe in freedom of speech, but I also feel we have the responsibility to self-censure when that speech won’t contribute to creating a productive discourse or a more perfect union.
I have learned so much over the past year while writing for this blog. I learned that I am not good at writing book reviews. While I love to read books, writing reviews is not my jam. It puts too much pressure on me and takes away some of the pleasure I get from reading.
I learned that a good piece doesn’t have to be long. One of my favorite poems is only 4 words long.
I have learned that some ideas/thoughts are not things I want to spend my time writing about, so I let them go back into the invisible universe of ideas. Someone else can use their time to explore it.
I learned that stillness, reflection, and time are key to developing a good blog post. I don’t have to shoot for the moon. The simplest of ideas tend to lend themselves to better writing. (I assume that if you are reading this that you think my blogs are at least marginally good. If you disagree that my blogs are any good, then I wonder why you are reading this and not something else.)
I learned blogging provides space for me to examine, process, and rethink my life, values, ideas, the world around me. I learned that facts are guideposts for me to locate truth, which is incredibly valuable to me. I learned that I have a hard time relating to people who don’t value facts as I do.
This space has also allowed me to take a trip down memory lane. The nostalgia has been a welcome respite during the pandemic. It has also helped me to appreciate some things in my life I had never given deep thought to previously.
I have also learned that I want to keep doing this work. Even if no one else ever reads this, I find value in writing it…and that’s all that really matters to me.
As I state on the front page of this blog, “…this blog is for my growth and learning…” I still don’t know where this work is leading me, but I am enjoying the journey.
I look forward to seeing where it takes me over the next year.
A Very Special Thanks…
Thanks to all of you who have read and continue to read my blogs and sent me feedback over the past year. I really appreciate your time and insights.
I want to give a big thanks to Sue Grove, who has proofed some of my blogs and helped me learn how to write using active voice. I am by no means perfect in this, but I am improving with every sentence I write.
Thank you also to my wonderful partner, Jason, who manages all the website details so I can just think, write, and post. Thank you for being a cheerleader for my vision. I love you.
© Catherine HaslagThe 5 Questions
These are my 5 questions from my bullet journal.
I am an introvert and not a fan of small talk. I understand its purpose is to start conversations between people, but it can also be hard to move beyond. It also wears on me to have the same conversation over and over again with people.
Where are you from?
What do you do for a living?
Are you married?
Do you have any kids?
How about this weather?
Welcome to my own personal hell.
A few years ago, I developed 5 questions to help start conversations. I developed these questions by considering what my friends and I most commonly talk about and what interests we have in common. I actually got this idea from a friend of mine who did something similar; however, the only question we have in common is regarding the books we are currently reading.
I can usually use 2-3 of these questions with anyone I meet. I have found they provide a way to have deeper conversations with people and are an easy way to find common ground with a person I have just met.
Question #1 – What are you reading?
This is one of my three go-to questions. SO many people read, so this is a great way to find common ground with someone AND get some good book recommendations. This is also a way to learn more about the interests of the other person and provide fuel for further deep discussion.
Question #2 – What podcasts are you listening to?
This is my second go-to question. There are so many podcasts available today. Most of the people I know listen to at least 1 podcast. This is a great way to get an idea of what interests another person and provide further topics for discussion.
Question #3 – What are you learning?
I am a growth-minded person. This is a deep, introspective question that I love to discuss with others, but I can’t use it with everyone. It needs to be used intentionally because not everyone is growth-minded and open to exploring this topic. Be sure to test your audience before deploying this question.
Question #4 – What are you grateful for?
This is my third go-to question. It is a way to uplift the conversation and connect with someone. Everyone can find something to be thankful for, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. Right now, I am thankful for the ice tea I am enjoying, the computer I am working on, and the rainy day that allows for contemplation and time to blog.
Question #5 – How is your word going?
This one has to be deployed with people who participate in The One Word. I only use it with friends who I know have a word. It’s a way to support each other and share our personal work. Again, this question will only work with a very specific audience, so be strategic with this one.
I keep these questions written down in my bullet journal so I can easily access them if I need them. They can also be saved in a phone or written on a small piece of paper for easy access. I have for the most part committed them to memory but like to keep them handy just in case my brain decides to go an on unannounced holiday.
If you are tired of small talk and want to jump-start conversations with more substance, I encourage you to write your own questions. They will help you have more meaningful and connecting conversations during your day.
A Special Thanks
A special thanks to Jennifer L. for giving me the idea of creating questions to start conversations with others. I am so thankful for you and our friendship. You encourage me to be a better person.
Tea Time
A good cup of tea can make all the difference. Something to warm your hands, wet your throat, and soothe your soul.
A cup of tea is a good friend who creates the space you need to care for yourself. The friend who can just be there and require nothing in return. Who keeps your secrets, never judges, and lets you regather yourself on the hard days.
Or who just sits with you in your joy and basks in it.
© Catherine HaslagThe Myth of Independence
The definition of independence, obtained from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
I didn’t get out of bed or drive to work in the morning on my own. An alarm wakes me up. Someone who isn’t me designed that alarm. Someone who isn’t me maintains the power grid that powers my alarm clock. My hot shower is possible because of the water heater in my house, who was designed, installed, and maintained by other people. Austin Utilities provides the natural gas and water and maintains the pipes that bring these resources to my house. Someone who isn’t me constructed the bathroom in my house back in 1955, when my house was built by someone who was not me.
Someone who isn’t me paved the road I drive to work in the car I drive, which was built and designed by Mazda. The City of Austin clears the streets of snow and puts down ice melt and sand to make my trip safer.
The definition of independent, obtained from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.
What we do today is possible because of those who came before us, who pathed the way for us. We work together to build the communities and world we live in. None of us live in a bubble. There are people who impact our lives that we will never know. The colleague who encouraged your grandpa on a hard day while he served for 4 years in WWII. The neighbor who motivated your great-great-grandparents to immigrate to a small town in rural Missouri in the 1870s. The philanthropist who made an anonymous endowment to your college provided the funds for the scholarship that paid for half of your tuition.
The lie we tell ourselves is that we did it all on our own. That we earned that scholarship without any assistance from another, nevermind teachers, parents, and tutors helped us with our school work. That we got ourselves out of bed and ready for work without assistance. That we take care of ourselves and no one else does. We are interconnected and dependent on each other in this world. None of us gets anywhere on our own. We were all helped by countless others we will never know in ways we can’t imagine.
Interdependence is how a society functions. There is no such thing as true independence if you live in a society. There is no way to be free of the influence of others when you live around others. It’s a myth we tell ourselves to calm our fears, boost our ego, and help us feel safe.